bubblewrap bartape: Colin and Jake's Great Adventure

Okay, here's a little prelude for you: Jaker and I simul-tweeting in Wenatchee.

(The tweet heard round the world / house!!)

So while my super baller teammates were busy curbstomping bike races in the deep south, I was left to my own devices in Seattle, where there was a huge amount of racing on the calendar...NOT!! I tried to go circle racing at the track on Friday, but it got rained out like a little league baseball game and I was forced to ride my track bike, brakeless, back home, past confused fixee riders who didn't know what to make of my fixeeee+lycra getup. Most of them settled on a facial expression that conveyed a sort of blasé potential respect, though that seems to be a sort of catchall for fixee riderz.

The circle racing rain-out is a funny sight. One moment, Evan Schmitt is up in the announcer's booth, playing something like the Star Wars Imperial March and describing the impending races in a grandiose voice; everyone is silently willing the sky not to open up; and pacelines and accelerations trace their way around the track. Then, an official blows a whistle, the music cuts off with a record-scratching sound, and everyone trudges across the moistening infield grass back to their cars, detouring when they are beckoned to the beer garden for a free drink. Like I said, I got my riding in to and from the track, but look what I saw the next morning!

(Track racers making up for last night!)

As you can see, I was a total creeper while taking this picture, but that's just because I wanted to preserve the natural habitat of these riders. I assume that the riders are drinking 16oz cups of espresso, but one can't be sure that their opaque cups instead contain something less reputable--like a big mocha, or worse, a breve--that would require several hours of riding just to avoid calorie surplus. I'm hopeful though, because the only solid food in sight is a banana.

Anyhow, with the only other race this weekend being the Frostbite TT, I decided to drive over to Wenatchee to visit ex-teammate and possible bff Jake MacArthur.

(I couldn't quite capture Jake's HB t-shirt and cap in this pic. Does he want to be my teammate???)

Jake was house-sitting for at least three animals. Let me introduce you to Kaiser (r) and Obi (l):

And to Annabelle:

Kaiser was full of nervous energy, and after he expressed himself by jumping up and scratching me, I asked whether he had some kind of anxiety disorder. Jake said "I think he's just a dog." So wise! Annabelle, by contrast, was relaxed, and was an expert conversational purr-er, growing louder and louder if you purred at her.

Jake and I rode to Leavenworth on Saturday! He was loading his bottles up with a mystery substance that I asked about. Jake responded with the 2nd funniest quote of the weekend.

"Haven't you ever heard of Lance Armstrong powder?"

("Okay enough pictures Colin, let's rally.")

(Samesies! Kawaiiiiiii.)

Leavenworth is a Bavarian-themed tourist town 20 miles from Wenatchee. It isn't really Bavarian, but that didn't bother the swaths of aimless tourists that occupied the town when we made a coffee stop there.

On Sunday, we got up early and went for a long one. Stemitt Creek, Mission Ridge, and Badger Mountain. Booyah!!

This was, of course, after some coffee at the bux.

(Praise? Oh, puh-leeease. Don't flatter yourself.)

I also managed to coax my friend Lauren out of her Forest Service responsibilities to come work on her tanlines with us, although she had a different idea of what that means.

(Jake in his ugly ass kit, Lauren with her 'geometrically unique' tanlines.)

("I have a seven year plan to complete an Ironman." "Uh, I'm pretty sure they only take like 10 hours.")

When I saw her get-up from afar, I was afraid that she had tracked down a onesie similar to the one I proudly wore when I competed in my only foray into multisport.

(Not pictured: gold pumas, dignity.)

But her's was not nearly as absurd. Jaker even found us some gravel to ride/pee on!

(2nd pee of the day. Way to hydrate, Jaker!!)

(Wenatchee Heights. Is Jake trying for 3rd pee of the day?)

(Pedestrian bridge to E. Wenatchee)

(descending Badger Mountain)

(Pepsi. This upped my QOL by about 5x at the end of the ride.)

After a little nap time, me and Jaker had some more espresso and some pie, then some tacos and coconut drank, then I crashed some kind of Lewis and Clark festival at Confluence Park where Lauren had procured a golden ticket to the coveted BBQ pork tent. I offered up an apple to her and I carried her foldable chairs in hopes of getting some baked potato and pork and 'slaw. It worked, and we ate it while observing the silent gliding of the canoes amidst the floating park benches.